Here’s the thing.
Grandma’s call me kiddo, kids call me lady, teens call me mom, and peers look at me questioningly.
I am officially transitioning out of the time when I once assumed everyone was older than me into the time when I realize I’m probably older than them –the drop-in clinic doctor, the firefighter, that police officer, my loans officer, etc. These are totally legit adults with degrees and careers. They are flashing more money and more stuff than I (I only say that because it takes TIME to make money and buy stuff) and they are younger than me. It’s weird. Because I’m not that old, am I?
Yes. Yes I am.
So I’ve started becoming a little obsessed with women rocking this Older Woman thing. And it’s awesome. It’s brought to light some realizations.
Old people were old people even when they were young. Oh, the shock I got when I realized my best friend’s polyester suit wearing, “oh my heart” chest grabbing, permed grey hair sporting Grandma was only in her early 60s. What?! Worried you’re going to become one of those people one day? Good news, if you aren’t already you probably won’t be. Those people were always old. I’m getting younger as I age, I swear it. Grasp the wisdom, let go of the judgment, and be free to be you.
Older has its beauty perks! Loss of baby fat and skin tension can allow for more definition in features if it is also coupled with health and fitness. I have envied older women’s legs for a long time for their lines and curves just because my rounded baby fat legs didn’t have such definition. Now I don’t love the lines on my face but I love that I have cheek bones finally! And going bye-bye are the years that being caked in makeup doesn’t look ridiculous. Have you tried doing a cat-eye with crows feet? More natural makeup frees us from feeling obliged to slap on the crap everyday!
I like it, I wear it. That doesn’t mean I rock the bootie shorts and knee high socks at sports day for the kids. But it does mean that if I like a look I don’t think twice about wearing it – when I want, where I want, and I don’t give a flying you-know-what who thinks whatever about it! It’s great. The fact is there is a 40-year-old version of every 20-year-old fad. Just edit out the belly baring trends and the ass-showing short shorts thing and we’re good to go! Unless you’re in Vegas, then you go girl.
Stop stop STOP with the cosmetic surgery. And yes, that might mean stop it all. From the nails and lashes all the way to the eye lifts and cheek implants. If you honestly feel better with enhancements such as these I wouldn’t judge. But if you are judging yourself unfairly and are thinking of going down this road, remember – anyone can buy anything, it doesn’t make you a better person. And it’s a progression. A little bit here and there in your forties may be innocent enough but time will betray your secrets. Too much and one day you will look alien. You will look wrong. When will it ever be enough? Enhancing your looks at any age with makeup is one thing (and I do colour my greys for now just to be honest). If we embrace our beauty as we change we give those younger than us permission to do the same. Let’s lead the way.
Health is everything. EVERYTHING. Stop putting the one thing on hold that will ensure you more time, more energy, and more confidence. Being a ex-trainer and a dedicated gym chick I’ll tell you that I’m over the perfect body. It has taken 25 years of studying physiques and a lot of training to get completely desensitized to the idea of perfection. Being healthy on the other hand FEELS SO GOOD. Your capacity to cope is better, your endurance in this rat race is better, your sex life is better. Do it for that reason. Because as a professional people watcher I can see one thing – when a woman FEELS GOOD she is damn gorgeous.
Time is the best gift of all. Time to love more, feel more, give more, get more. Time with our loved ones. Time to feel life with our hands, between our toes, wrapped around us as we embrace it. Age is just a bunch of judgmental crap fed to us to make money on our insecurities. So can we stop?
I have loved so many women that are gone. They would have cherished even one minute more of this life. They would have honoured one grey hair or another breath beneath their saggin breasts. They would have flipped the bird to the world for another day with their kids or their lovers. For them, I celebrate my wrinkles. For them, I am thankful for time.
So let’s do this. Refuse to be so easily defined. Look in the mirror not for who you are – look for who you are becoming. She may surprise you.
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